stay..

lovely morning
bright sunshine, cozy breeze after morning rain
sipping earl gray tea
the air is filled with jasmine scent from burning oil
flipping my way from one email to another

guess i'm not going anywhere
am gonna enjoy more of this for the next two months

enjoy the lengthy to-do-list
enjoy sorting out papers in one pile while another pile is mounting
enjoy the chase around getting jobs done
enjoy 'baby sitting' big babies
enjoy getting chased for jobs undone
total fun!

since I'm staying, will you stay as well?

pulkam or not pulkam...?

Still dithering about going home..

No-nos
Called home last night and found out that my parents are off to Sumatera on the same day I go home.
My younger sis will be tied up with hospital schedule
My pembantu will go to her home town so I would end up doing the house chores (ugh!)

Yes-yes
Jakarta is at its best (not so crowded therefore less pollution)
Malls would still hold the lebaran discount promo (don't you miss shopping!)
Visit some Moslem friends and (eat eat eat!) and old friends

Sooo.... it's even so far. Just need 1 good reason to outweigh one or the other.

ms. indecisive ;)

i'll be home for ... lebaran ?

1.1EMERALDA/S MS
1 KI 335 G 02NOV DPSCGK HK1 1840 – 1920 = Rp. 349.000
2 KI 336 N 06NOV CGKDPS HK1 1730 – 2010 = Rp. 424.000
TKT/TIME LIMIT
1 TAW 29OCT/1200/ISSUE TKT

now this just gets dillematic.
hmm..... *pondering*

Havel

The cutest nephew ever.

Well, he is a cute smart little boy, and being my only immediate nephew, he's lucky not to have any competition (yet).

Quite surprised when I got a phone call just after I arrived at the office to hear his voice on the other end. The last time I met the words he mastered other than some toddler speak are some song lyrics, but just now I could hear him talking full richer vocabulary. "kapan ke Jakarta?" (when are you coming to Jakarta), "lagi di rumah ompung" (I'm in granny's house).

Miss that boy.

Parent's Anniv. - 36th

First time I had to give to a relatively big gathering a miss. Mom/dad already invited me to attend since last Sept when I went home, but money's been tight lately so I thought it is more economical if I safe it for a longer visit. Texted them and thanking them for being together for the past 36 years. Wow, sure sounds to be a long time.

Seems it's a 'waste' to throw away 750g rups on tix only just for a couple of days gathering with plenty, while I prefer meeting a few but with more quality. Got Lebaran as an option, sure makes one look like a pembantaian (maid), huh?? Well, we got at least 4 days off, and everybody knows that's the best time of the year to be in Jakarta. Less crowded, less pollution. Tranquil in a big city. Then again, with fuel price hike, I won't be surprised if less people return to their home town this year. To humor myself I'll check the travel agent for tickets then. Hmm...

Back to anniv., around 80 people went to Anyer. The more the merrrier! From early morning I already 'agreed' to go to the beach as well, though not in Anyer, but Kuta instead. Nicer beach, I hope they forgive me for that. Hehee..

The beach's been empty lately. The bules didn't directly flee after the bomb, but the incoming is much lower than the number of leaving. Ohwell, more homework for the government, and us of course.

come out and play, li'l mouse

Tonight was the first time I ever saw a brave little mouse. Its size is only about half my palm, dark chocolate fur and black tail around 10 cm long. Here there are many of them, unlike big city’s rats that are so oversize and disgusting, running along the gutter.

I was queuing at the ATM and watching some technicians doing major checking up on the ATM next door. 1 guy taking apart some parts, 1 guy just squatting behind and a guard sat and watch (some guard!). Then just out of nowhere this little mouse crept toward the human legs and obviously it didn’t have the slightest fear (or was it blind?) around humans.

DESPEREAUX! That was my initial reaction. Sounds French, eh? Well, I remember reading this kid book one time about a mouse called Despereaux, a brave little one who lived in a castle in France. Cute tale, and didn’t expect to actually see one alive.

So it moved steadily and when it reached the guard’s black boots it stayed there. It played with the shoe lace and tried to nibble on the ‘leather’. Something about that shoe must really fascinates it. Perhaps the smell, perhaps the feeling when the leather rubbed its body, or maybe the guard has befriended with it. Too much of an imagination?

The people inside the ATM booth took their sweet little time but I didn’t mind as I was intrigued by this little Despereaux (I don’t think I’ll ever seen it again, so I took as many time possible to observe it) . I was going to comment to guard about it but afraid a sudden movement will scare it. So I just watch... also wondering what would the guard’s reaction if he found out? Jump? Run? Squeeze it with his boots? Ouch!

My turn to make my transaction, and left. Next time I visit the ATM I definitely will look around for little Despereaux.

Hunny, he's just not that in2 you!

Self help books been getting favorable rap the past few years, including the ones dealing with relationship problems. I'm not really into this kind of book, but my friend's been discussing about her relationship with her boyfriend the past couple of months. When they finally seperated she was so proud to announce how valid the book was, confirming every signs the ex-boyfriend clearly show was actually a silent scream that he wasn't into her anymore. At the same time she regretted how she should've read this book earlier so she could read the signs in earlier stage before the relationship gotten sour.

She lent me the book and I agree that the book should be able to give 'insight' on how obvious and predictable men are. Perhaps too easy? The authors should make it seem like that. Women aren't supposed to spend their precious time trying to analyze why he doesn't call, why they haven't date, why he left, and hundreds of why this and why that. If he can't come clear, the f***wit doesn't deserve you, not even your time spent wondering. As simple as that. I bet there's somebody out there will counter this rather old school view and claim things aren't that simple.

Nope, you guessed it right. I won't try to relate to it nor compare my own experience and spill it here. Not that I have any *tongue in cheek*, but that's not the issue. The issue here is it's a fun read, re-direct cosmo women back to who they supposed to be and what they ought to be without beeing too patronizing.

Great if you insist that you have a great relationship and claim you don't need "relationship for dummies", I'd say just get it for the fun of it, perhaps a girlfriend could use an advise or two from it. It doesn't matter how silly the situation of a relationship appeared or how stubborn (halfwit) some of the females described on it, I just enjoyed the clear cut explanation that always go back to the basic nature of men. Clear, focus and with a chalk of sarcasm. Amusing.

I haven't got a chance to talk to any man about it, whether they appreciate that finally they don't have to spill the bad news to the ladies, OR maybe they're pissed that their nasty cum coward attitude are being disclosed. But if you're a male and have read it, do share what you think about it.

Along the line, I wonder if it's valid for gay couples. You know how bitchy gay men could be.. and then another point, I wonder if men could use similar 'guide' maybe "she's just not that into you"??

== EPISODE 1

Dear Greg,
This is dumb. I know you're not supposed to call guys, but I call guys all the time because I don't care! I don't want to play games. I do whatever I want! I've called guys tones of times. You're such a square, Greg. Why do you think we can't call guys and ask them out?
Nikki

Dear Nikki,
Because we don't like it. Ok, some guys might like it, but they're just lazy. And who wants to go out with Lazy Guy? It's that simple. I didn't make the rules and I might not even agree with them. Please don't be mad at me, Nikki. I'm not advocating that women go back to the Stone Age. I just think that you might want to be realistic in how capabile you are changing the primordial impulses that drive all of human nature.
Or maybe you're the chosen one.

== EPISODE 2

Dear Greg,
You're dumb. A guy who I'm going out with (who I asked out, Greg, by the way) is totally important and totally busy. He's a music video director and travels and has long shoots and lots and lots of responsibilities. Sometimes when he's working, I don't hear from hear from him for days and days. He's really busy, Greg! Some guys are just really, really busy! Don't you ever have really, really busy days? I've learned to live with it and not to give him any shit, because I know that's the price I pay for going out with someone really successful and and hot and busy. Why are you telling these women to be so needy?!
Nikki

Dear Nikki,
Good to hear from you again. Well, not really. Listen, Nikki. Really busy is another way to say “just not that into you”. Totally important is another way to say “you’re unimportant”. How great that you’ve “landed” someone that even you think is out of your league. Too busy and important to ask you out or call you – what a catch. Congratulations on your quasi-relationship! It must feel amazing to know that you’ve been programmed into the super hot and important busy guy’s cell phone, even if he never uses it to call you. You must be the envy of every women he’s really dating.

== EPISODE 3

Dear Greg,
You’re so dumb! My boyfriend, the music video guy? He really likes to drink. He has a really hard job and needs to unwind. and when he drinks he’s really affectionate and tells me all these great things about how he feels about me. I think that’s great! some people need alcohol to get the courage to share their feelings and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that! In fact, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with drinking a lot after work. it’s fun. it’s like a party all the time. he doesn’t miss work. he’s just a bad boy. I
like bad boys. they’re exciting. if you don’t, you’re too uptight.
Nikki

Dear Nikki,
Nikki, Nikki, I know you think he’s so hot. you love that drunky “Oh baby, you’re so beautiful” slurry thing he does when he’s at the bar, or maybe even that cute rendition of “I love you so much you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, babe” while he slings his arm around you a little too hard. I can see how his inebriated, sweaty proclamations of love can make you feel all warm inside. Nikki, you must know this by now: You can’t believe everything a guy says when he’s drunk. And take it from a former bad boy: “bad boys” are bad because they’re troubled, as in having little self-respect, lots of pent-up anger, loads of self-loathing, complete lack of faith in kind of loving relationship, but yes, really cool clothes and often a great car. Just the kind of guy for you, right, Nikki?

'Nuff said. I know you got the idea.
To all the ladies... don't waste the pretty!!

bali socialite

News travels fast. Even faster when your circle of friends is relatively limited. There are plenty of bules in Bali, only a handful of them residing here and earn their living here. So basically everybody knows everybody.

Just a couple of days after the mad cum drunk guest incident at the party a friend of mine brought up the subject. She wasn’t invited but many of her bule friends were. So I guess the party made a hot topic over the weekend among them. Then her other friend who happened to be the cum drunk guest’s partner mentioned about getting outcasted from the party. My friend asked what happened, he only answered “looooong story”.

It shouldn’t be long if he would admit that his partner was being a total intimidating jerk, but everybody has their side of story, right? Should be interesting to hear what there was, but not the least care.

it feels reaaaaally good (!!) when you know you're right

The morning started with to many resistance. Had to drag my b**t everywhere. From taking to shower, eating my apple breakfast, to ride to the office. I can’t recall having such a cranky swollen morning before. It seems everybody was conspiring to pi*s me off. My boss came early with a guest without telling me, people asked me the same question 3 times, either the IT or the phone company dropped the internet connection, the courier company is 3 days late (again). Murphy’s law was fulfilled all day!

Thank GOD one by one things fell into their places. But my boss.

I have no idea why he nagged all day. Nagged over the same issue again and again. Just had to poise extra extra hard to answer him with the correct explanation and with cold head.

‘but I thought it was the same package. I must be out of my mind’
‘no, there are just too many shipping and you got it mixed up’
‘so yes, so the package is here, but it doesn’t say anything about my box’
‘no, because blah blah blah..’
‘ok, so my mistake.’
‘yes, if only you would be a little listening to my explanation. Don’t you think it’s easier to hold your mouth than saying all the negatives but later having to swallow them and apologize???’

Sigh. The last was my imaginary lecture to my boss. Incidents like this happens ever so often I’m almost sure that’s the only way he knows how to operate. It’s sad and can be frustrating sometimes. I mean at his age, he should’ve known better. Then again, am I just being too expectant of him? It’s only fair when I get to tell him what I expect of him, right? He has high expectations of me, my job only expands (believe me, it does), but no sign of appreciation at all. And I’m not talking about kesh. The missus' been very nice to me after the fantastic party tho. Let’s see how long that stays...

life CAN be interesting

Latest news: the past week was busy EO-ing boss’ wife’s b’day party. Started as a small party, but as expected, invitation list only gets bigger. I was dragged in this job on last minutes, but with bigger responsibilities. Point person. Had to coordinate with everybody, from kitchen, drinks, band, lighting, reception, security and everybody in the guest list. Oh fun!

Unfortunately this EO-ing totally time consuming, I didn’t get a chance to get a b’day present. Well, if I knew what she would like to have it wouldn’t be so hard. But what would you give a lady who has everything? Browsed the internet for ideas, talked to friends, but none worked out. Flowers was the last resort, but that has to be unique. Was going to get her tulips (yep, a nice fresh bouquet) which is hard to find in Indonesia, but even that has to be pre-ordered a week in advance. I dropped the whole idea. I've enough headache already!

Celebration was last night and I can say it was a blast. Only 2 people in the guest list didn’t show up, the band was raving and food was finger licking good!! No drinks for me though. Such a shame I know, but hey, I was working, remember?!

Of course, I only observed all these from a distance. I needed to watch everything, even to where the people smoke. FYI the houses were wooden therefore fire prone. Kept moving around in not so comfortable sarong. Worried I’d trip over it but glad no embarassing accident happened. I know I look cute in sarong *tongue in cheek*, but it's a hassle.

The only ‘casualty’ was when this one guest who brought in an extra friend. I was called to talk to him and as I asked him to wait until I got an OK from the b’day lady he got so upset he started to be aggressive. Blah blah blah… he said a whole bunch of things that doesn’t have anything to do with the situation, with his face just 20 cm off mine.

‘I’ve known CB for 20 years..! How long have you known J and C?’
‘I don’t think that’s the issue here, sir’
‘Not even close, right?’
‘No, but it’s not relevant’

It was just pathetic to see a guy at his age could be annoyingly childish (he can't be less than 40). I didn’t say much fighting words, just stick to my explaining the requested procedure. His threats was foolish and ridiculous.

‘what’s your name?’
‘a’
‘well, you just see that I will email j & c, call them and send them sms’

Bitchy faggot. (No offense, but he was.) He did all the talking, looking more pathetic as he yapped. His friends just stared at his outrageous behavior. My bet he was already drunk. He did shout nasty things I wouldn’t repeat here, nor anywhere.

I knew he was trying to scare me, but he needed to try harder. It was one of those incidents that only make life interesting!!

ps. This entry isn’t about writing against gay men/women, it's just hilarious watching them. I don’t have many gay men friends, but from what I see they could be very insecure toward both sexes. They have strange ways in hiding it. Try to observe it, it's amusing.

Bali bombing pt. 2

By the time I upload this entry you must have gotten all the complete report about Oct 1 ’05 Bali bombing. Total 8 bombs blasted in Jimbaran and Kuta square, all happened at the same time. It was pouring vinegar to a not-yet-healed wound. A deep wound caused by Oct 12, 2002 bombing (pt.1).

I received bunch of phone calls and text messages, which arrived late due to poor network (hey, they didn’t bombed Telkomsel’s tower??). Thanks for the concern, relieved to report that I’m in good condition, 1 piece.

Where was I when it blasted?

There was this event called “October Fest” sponsored by San Miguel Beer (the light beer tasted queer) at Kuta. I left the house almost 6pm, almost an hour late waiting for a friend, picked up another friend, then headed to Kuta. Some traffic near the airport (normally), missed the sunset but finally made it. When the bombs blasted it wasn’t long after we arrived in Kuta beach. 10 mins browsing the place and looking for place to sit, a friend who couldn’t come sms-ed about bombing in Kuta.

What?? Well, we didn’t feel any shake, didn’t hear any explosion, and didn’t see the smoke either. The slightest rumors about disaster would kill fun, so we decided to sit tight for a bit, chatted with people there to get more info and wait. The beach logically would be safer place than closed buildings.

As time passed people started to look restless. Locals drew away from the stage and grouped talking about what happened and started analyzing who and why they did it. A large group of bule walked westward, I wasn’t sure where they were heading.

So it happened that the bomb in Kuta blasted 10-15 mins after our car passed Kuta square. The terrorist (they are, right?!) in stores along the Raja’s bar and café. Funny, I never dined there but when we passed it remembered clearly looking at the place wondering what kind of dishes they serve there. And now it’s smashed, guess I’ll never know.

Why did these people do this again?
Why now?
Why did I (and my friends) managed to pass it right BEFORE it happened?

I don’t know the answer to the first two, but for the last, I know God IS good, and again, he looked after me (and my friends), and for that, I can’t thank HIM enough. Another valid proof that he’s a timely God. He woke up my friend from her nap just in time, then as we approached Kuta area there was heavy traffic but it didn’t hold us too long to let us passed Kuta square just before the bombing.

So here I am, already past midnight, physically and mentally tired but don’t think I could sleep. How could you, when you’re so close of getting exploded. Still worried about some friends who also went to Kuta but didn’t see, also anticipating hearing news of someone I know who might get hurt… God forbid!

Body count: 22 death toll, 72 injured. 00:35am.

So, where were you when it happened?
Would you dare come to Bali?

Isn't it great to be alive??